Fast car chases and loud explosions are
a common sight in modern movies. You
know it’s Hollywood and they’re going to make it loud and fast, but you go
anyway. Sometimes, you want to mix it
up. You go for something
independent. It’s not flashy or anything. Sometimes it turns out to be decent. (Not usually, but sometimes.) At the very least, you come to realize why
these things are done. It’s cliché, but
at least they keep your attention.
Alien Warfare is a pretty basic
movie. There’s nothing too extravagant
about it. A team of Navy SEALs is sent
to a foreign research facility to retrieve an item. They’re not told what it is. They’ll know it when they see it,
though. All they know is that everyone
in the building was killed at once. So,
off they go to the remote site, basically not knowing anything about the
mission except that they have to find and retrieve something.
When they get there, they find Isabella. She’s a scientist who was involved with the
project. She survived by being in a Faraday
cage. She’s able to grant the team
access to the room where the item is stored.
The only distinguishing feature, aside from being black and angular, is
that it projects some weird alien language.
That’s when the aliens show up. I should warn you now that the name Alien
Warfare is misleading. We only get to
see one alien for a few seconds at the end of the movie. The other four aliens are in suits the entire
time, and can also become invisible.
There’s also no real warfare.
Sure, the SEAL team shoots at them a few times, but I wouldn’t call it
warfare.
Eventually, the SEALs figure out what
the object is. This allows them to
figure out what the aliens want. The
SEALs allow the aliens to take the object away, allowing everyone to go home in
peace.
The movie seems almost like a class
project. It’s not even TV pilot
material. It’s like someone was given
access to two buildings and had to write the script around that. We never really find out much about the
aliens. For instance, it seems like the
scientists had access to the pot for a long time. The only explanation as to why the aliens
took so long to retrieve it is that there was electrical interference. But, they do eventually figure out where
their missing thing is.
The alien design is so minimal that it
was easier to hide them inside suits.
They’re shaped a lot like we are, which the humans think is
natural. I mean, why would intelligent
life develop any other way? Right? I mean, it’s not like other planets would
have other conditions and whatnot. I get
that human actors are playing the aliens, but it’s not like we didn’t have CGI
last year. It’s more that the production
had to work within its limits and it shows.
There’s very little in the way of
character development, for that matter.
The old leader was replaced by his brother. All we know is that the team botched a
mission and it was the old leader’s fault.
The rest of the team keeps looking to the old leader for guidance. The only other thing we know about any member
of the team is that Jonesy is obsessed with smoothies. He even wants to take a blender back with
him.
It’s like that old joke where a guy eats
a meal in a restaurant. The waiter asks
how the meal was, to which he replies that he only has two complaints: Not only was the food horrible, but there
wasn’t enough of it.
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